Communication Priorities

Nowadays there are so many ways to communicate it's almost impossible to know which method to use. To the unknowing outsider, they all seem similar, but under further scrutiny, the intricacies of present day communication become apparent. Phone calls, text messages, BBMs, e-mails, IM's, GChats, Facebook messages, wall posts, pokes and friend requests are all very unique ways of communicating, and it's very hard to know which one to use and when.

Let's go back a few decades and realize that our parents' generation had it GOOOOOOD! If someone said, "hey, here's my number," that was the only way to communicate. You either called, or you didn't. Each action had a very clear meaning; no call meant "not interested" and if you called it was clear that you were interested. But now we have to chose our form of passive apathy to prove that we're interested. How weird is that? How bass ackwards?

I've taken it upon myself to define the meaning of each form of communication, and how the method of communication is just as important, if not more than the content itself.

The phone call. The oldest and easiest way to convey what you're truly feeling has become risque. If you just met someone and decided to call them without establishing a text conversation beforehand you are BOLD! You're so bold that the person receiving the call might not answer, just because they have to interpret and digest the meaning the phone call.

The text message. It seems that text messaging is easiest way to open a line of communication without looking too interested. WARNING! the amount of time you wait before responding to text messages is vital to their interpretation. If you respond too quickly, then you're too interested! If you respond too late, you're totally disinterested. Find the happy medium. Also, make sure not to insinuate too much. Texts lack inflection, so you risk being misinterpreted.

BBM. BBM stands for Blackberry Messenger, the proprietary text messaging service available to Blackberry users. This technology adds a whole new dimension to text messaging because it discloses whether the recipient has read your BBM or not. That's a huge issue!! If you BBM someone and you see that they read your BBM and didn't respond, consider that a slap in the face or a swift kick in the nuts. There are many meanings to the unanswered BBM; none of them good.

E-mail. E-mail has taken on a more formal appearance given the advent of texting. If you e-mail someone, you are establishing a more mature and professional relationship. It shows that you've thought about what you wrote, and that you aren't playing text games. This is great way to work yourself into a "friends" stream of communication, because e-mail connotes maturity. E-mail also allows for lengthy explanations and more in depth conversations. It seems to be the form of flirtation chosen in a more professional environment. There's a lot of reading between the margins. ;)

IM's. AIM is a very, very sticky situation. Now that many people are logged on AIM throughout their workday, it's easy to exhaust your amount of IM time. IM's don't necessarily have that much meaning, but if you're chatting with someone you're interested in, the time between each IM is the most telling. You know the person you're IMing is sitting right in front of their computer, but they're choosing when to respond to you. The silence can mean a few things. #1 they're so swamped with work that they can only respond intermittently, #2 they are talking to many other people and you must await your response, or #3 they want to make you sweat. Either way, it can be very rewarding and can be very discouraging.

GChat. GChat is the proprietary instant messaging service provided by Google. It's very similar in nature to AIM, but it forgives slow reaction time. It's simply the newer form of instant messaging and people tend to think it's trendier. Nothing that special. In fact, the interface is weak as hell. The newness of it is the only thing attracts people.

Facebook messages. Facebook messages are a very casual way of communicating. It's sort of a social e-mailing system. If someone Facebook messages you, it's a subtle and chill way of expressing interest. It shows that you are patient and are in no need of an instant reaction. Facebook messages are a good route to prove you true apathy!
[remember that apathy is cool!]

Facebook wall posts. Wall posts are some of the most ballsy forms of communication. If you post a message like "great seeing you this weekend, had a great time" you're attempting to mark your territory with words opposed to urine. The wall post is masked as a direct message to the recipient, but since all 750 of their friends are privy to the wall, it becomes a form of bragging and making everyone aware that you spent time together, and on top of that, had a "great time!" Wall posts can really affect the way people act. No joke!

Facebook pokes. Pokes have somewhat gone by the wayside for Facebook Gen-1, but in case you did poke someone, it's brazen way of saying "hey, I like you."

The friend request. At Facebook's inception, everyone was friending everyone. People were friending people in their college they didn't even know. However, once the unwritten Facebook handbook was published, errant friending became taboo. So now it's important for people to pick and chose who and when they friend. If you friend someone that you just met, you seem very eager. If you wait a few days, you've shown you have self control, but still reaffirm your interest.

It's very very hard to communicate these days because there are so many layers and meanings. In many cases, technology has been a force for good, curing diseases, spreading information, and connecting people across the universe. In other cases, its stood in the way of basic human interaction, and that's a shame.

The Value of a Voice

The other day I called my friend Josh on his work line and was shocked to hear the voice on the other end. "Josh Green's Office" said his female assistant. I laughed aloud. It was surreal hearing someone answer the phone for my 23 year-old friend who only graduated from Dartmouth 8 month prior. I felt like I dialed the CEO, not my friend, and it was then I realized the value of a voice.

Nowadays everything is digitally automated. You dial numbers for businesses and assume you are going to get a recording. It's par for the course, but it's not a sonically pleasing. Calling Josh made me appreciate how nice it is to place a phone call and hear a well spoken human being on the other end. Boom! An idea struck me. What if you could have an answering service whenever you wanted and remotely activated and deactivated it through a text message, email, or cell phone application for a nominal fee? It would be incredible! You'd have your own personal secretary whenever you needed it.

There have been so many articles published about Americans having side businesses. Someone is a teacher during the week and runs a SAT tutoring office on the weekends, or a CPA is creating proprietary tax software on the side etc... It would be such an advantage to have a human being answer your phone calls. It sounds so incredibly professional and the caller would never know the person answering your phone wasn't your own personal secretary.

So how does it work? What makes it so much different from a traditional answering service? The remote ON/OFF switch and ability to change your status on the fly.

Let's say you are a full-time businesswoman and in your free time you are writing a screenplay. You've distributed the script, established your own LLC and want producers to think you are a full-time screenwriter with a bustling office. All you have to do is send a text message to 12345 that reads "ON: Stacy Heath's office. She's in a meeting right now, may I take a message or put you through to her voicemail?" When your number gets dialed, the person answering the phone reads your message verbatim. Immediately the dialer assumes you are important and successful. So much of life is based on a first impression, and hearing a well spoken human being on the phone is the best way to start a conversation.

As soon as you want to turn the service off simply text OFF to 12345, send an email or do it via an iPhone or BlackBerry app. You can even create a schedule that coincides with your workday so you can directly receive calls starting at 7pm without manually disabling the service. You can edit the message as often as you like because it's only a text message/email/smartphone application entry away. Each person can handle many different accounts because all they do is answer the phone, redirect the call, or take a message and relay it to you via email. You can establish a monthly fee of $10-$20 or employ a pay-as-you-go or pay-per-use billing method.

This would totally change the way people approach their businesses because labor costs are so prohibitive. With this system you can effectively start a company on a shoestring budget and appear like you're hitting on all cylinders, primed and ready to conquer the world. That's the value of a voice.

The !

As a member of the generation that communicates through our fingers rather than our mouths, the ! has taken on a whole new meaning. After having an insightful conversation with my friends we realized there was something profoundly interesting about the ! Long gone are the days of speaking off the cuff, now we plan what we text, get a consensus from friends, and then express ourselves in 160 characters or less. James Joyce wouldn't stand a chance. For example, a text message that reads "Thanks for dinner" doesn't have the same meaning as "Thanks for dinner!" The ! adds the much needed emotion and inflection to the text message. We're evolving into a culture of concise communication, and we're losing our individuality simultaneously.

Our voices have a range of !'s, but texting makes them all equal. It makes everyone seem similar, when in reality they're not. Sometimes I want to give a 1/2 !, but have to resort to the full ! However creative one might be, they're still limited by text messaging.

In the flirting/dating phases of a relationship, it all boils down to the ! No one wants to be in a situation where someone could have added !, but didn't. It's insulting, painful, and so much more powerful than it needs to be. Maybe the sender had a good night but didn't want to sound too excited; too bad. You have to make a choice. It's either, "I had fun tonight too" or "I had fun tonight too!" Texting is great for people that don't like to communicate, but awful for those who do. We text all the time enough don't talk enough. My advice: rest your fingers!