Victoria's too sexy! What a paradox.

As the economy enters a recession and all things seem to be hitting the fan, we have to deal with another crisis..."Victoria Secret CEO Sharen Turney says the chain has become 'too sexy.'"

WHAT?! I never thought I'd hear the words "too sexy" and "Victoria's Secret" in the same sentence, but stranger things have happened. After the initial shock and seemingly paradoxical statement, I sat back and realized that it's true. I recall my tween days of mall shopping and seeing a clear mix of customers in Victoria's Secret. The typical 15-20 year-old, youthful 40 year-old and single 30 something, but now it seems that you need a lower back tattoo to enter. The mannequins used to have 90's era sexy underwear, and now they barely have enough fabric qualify as lingerie. No wonder they're losing their 40 something demographic. Women at that age no longer feel the need be skanky, they just want to look better than bland.

When an article of clothing has less material than a cocktail napkin, something went wrong. The store didn't get too sexy, it got too skanky and dirty. They followed the trends and unfortunately it led them into a corner. So when did this look become popular? A few years ago girls started wearing clothes that deliberately revealed their thong. Thongs became the only acceptable mainstream underwear. So how did this start? Who do we credit for being the trend setter of skank? I say Sisqó.

That's right, you heard me, Sisqó. He was the pioneer of thong thought. His song "The Thong Song" was an anthem for everybody of the Carson Daly TRL generation. He made it loud and clear, "Thongs are a man's dream. The only way to show a man that you are truly sexy is to wear a thong." I'm not going to argue his point, I just want to credit him with the explosion of mainstream thongs and sexy underwear.

It's funny that a brand is suffering from a sexy image. Who would have ever thought "sexy" would be a problem in a lingerie store? Most companies try to convince you their product will make you sexy and now Victoria's Secret has to deal with a whole new marketing problem...becoming un-sexy without losing its image altogether. This might be the greatest advertising dilemma ever. Victoria's Secret has been the guinea pig for all other brands that might walk a fine line between west village fantasy sex store and a legitimate clothing store. Maybe as a society we've finally reached the point where we've gone overboard. The income statement has spoken, and it says "make some less skanky lingerie so the 40 year-olds will feel comfortable in your store."

Next fall... "Body by Victor Victoria" The Julie Andrews Line.